Abridged Episode 5[edit | edit source]
Cast (in order of appearance): Alexis, Syrus, Jaden, Banner, Pharaoh, Crowler, Narrator, Bald Duelist, Bob(Susan), Director, Winged Kuriboh
Date: April 23,2014
Running time: 9:33
Episode Title: The Arrival Of Susan
Transcript[edit | edit source]
(intro in the woods at night)
Alexis: Syrus was supposed to meet me here for extreme making out hours ago! I wonder where he is?
Syrus: That really is the last time I take directions from a blind guy!! Huh, what's that in there? A Dark Magician! Whoa! I'll take that and become the new main character and- wait what the hell?
Monster Hand: I'm a Syrus's Fan girl. Let's go play you with Chumley. (laughing)
Syrus: Wait, what the hell?! NOOOOOOooooooo!!!
Jaden: And then what did you do?
Syrus: Huh? Oh! Then I got bored, so I came here. And on the way, I found some cards.
Jaden: What? You mean these?
Jaden: Who the hell puts a "Sinister Serpent" in there deck?
Syrus: I don't know, probably some lowlife, stupid, old-
Banner: Ah! There are my cards. I have been looking everywhere for them.
Jaden and Syrus: Professor Banner!
Syrus: Hey there, Pharaoh.
Jaden: Hey, I just realized, why do you have Pharaoh? I thought you weren't allowed pets on Duel Academy.
Banner: No Jaden. Pharaoh is not my pet, he is my partner.
Syrus: What? You mean like married? (laughing)
Banner: Yes, Syrus. Me and Pharaoh are married.
Syrus: You... your serious?
Syrus: You swear the God?
Banner: Yes Syrus, why do I lie? Do you think I'm a liar, Syrus?
Syrus: No! Not at all! I don't think you're a liar, Mr. Banner, sir.
Banner: Well, That's good Syrus. Because for a minute there, I thought you had something against a man and a cat being together.
Syrus: No, no, no, no, I don't have anything against it, I mean I couldn't have because um... I'm gay! Yeah... with Jaden.
Banner: Good, 'cause I was kidding.
Jaden: You bastard.
(Title Sequence, Jindou's "Rising Weather Hallelujah" plays)
Jaden: You do realize that Alexis is still waiting for you.
(all looked quiet)
Jaden: No, you're right. She can make her own way back.
Banner: But anyway, the reason why I came here, was to tell you not to go to The Abandoned Dorm.
Jaden: The what?
Banner: The Abandoned Dorm, Jaden. It is the creepiest place on Duel Academy. Many have gone, never to return. You must never go there for if you do, you will be subjected to horrible terrors. Do you understand?
Jaden: (Farting noise) Yes.
Banner: Well, it's getting late. Good night, boys. Syrus: Man, that's scary.
Syrus: Jaden, don't even think about it. It'll just be another bad experience, remember that time you tried marijuana?
(At the toolshed at daytime)
Jaden: WHERE THE F**CK ARE MY CHEETOS!!!
Syrus: Oh God, it happened again!
Jaden: Syrus, where are they?!
Syrus: I don't know, Jaden!
Jaden: Okay, your choice.
Syrus: No, not the good China!
Jaden: Give me my Cheetos, Syrus! if I don't have them, I'm gonna die!
Syrus: For the love of God, I don't have your Cheetos!
(procedes to beat up Syrus)
Jaden: Give me my Cheetos, Syrus!
Syrus: (in pain) Ow! My face!
Jaden: Just give it to me, now!
Syrus: (still in pain) Ow! My hair!
Jaden: Give me the Cheetos, you son of a bitch!
Syrus: (still in more pain) Oh my God. Okay, that's it!
(Syrus punches Jaden)
Jaden: Ohho! (Falls on the floor
Syrus: *Huff* *Huff* *Huff* F**cking Stoner!
(Back to night time)
Jaden: Yeah, that's great nobody cares. Let's go to the Dorm!
Syrus: My blue hair scenes danger!
Crowler: Oh! I just love eavesdropping! I hear the most tasty gossip. This is even better than what I heard outside of the Alexis's room. And that was pretty filthy. So, they want to scare do they? Well, I'll scare them so much it'll make Freddy and Jason look like Carebears.
Caption: Meanwhile. In somewhere that's Not the toolshed.
Narrator: Meanwhile. In somewhere that's not the toolshed!
Bald Duelist: AH, The Fog! It burns!!!
Bob: Maybe that'll teach you not to wear sunglasses at night. And now I want your soul!
Bald Duelist: But what value does that have to you?! Bob: I don't know, but I'm taking it anyway!
Bald Duelist: NOOOOOOOOO!!!
Bob: Ha! Ha! Ha! I've killed you!!!
Director: No, that's the wrong line!
Bob: Oh, yes this is 4kids edit. Okay, take two! *Ahem*
Caption: God Damn 4Kids
Bob: Ha ha ha I've sent you to the Shadow Realm, which is absolutely harmless! Ha ha ha! Is that better?
Director: Much better!
Bob: I swear to God if I have to change my lines one more time for 4kids, I'm gonna go over there and personally kicking their a-
Bob: Ah! Sorry guys, that's me!
Camera Crew: Gyah!
Director: Bob, we said you're not allowed any phones while we recording!
Bob: I know! I know! I'm sorry guys. Let me just take this real quick!
Assistant: You got two minutes, Bob!
Pegasus: Ooooo! Hello Bobby boy, it's me.
Bob: Pegasus? I thought I had your number blocked.
Pegasus: Well as you know, I have a way of, getting around. Hoohoohoohoo!
Bob: Ah, can you hold on a minute, I got another call to take.
Pegasus: Ooooo! Aren't you Mr. Popular?
Bob: Hello? What's that? You want me to scare kids at Duel Academy? Well, I obviously have nothing better to do, sure!
Jaden: Okay guys, here's a rundown. Um... we're lost and it's all Syrus's fault.
Syrus: What?! Jaden, you're the one leading us.
Jaden: Well, Chumley hasn't said or done anything for five episodes and I'm not gonna on myself am I?
Syrus: Oh, I suppose.
Crowler: (singing) My golem lives over the ocean!
Bob: I'm here!
Crowler: Oh! It's you! Your... your?
Bob: I am The Bringer of Destruction and Chaos!
Crowler: I'm going to call you, Susan!
Crowler: I think it suites you, do you like it? Do ya? Do ya? Do ya? Do ya? Do ya?
Susan: Stop that!
Syrus: Well, there it is! The Abandon Dorm! The Scary Mary! The Monster Mansion! The Hunted House! The Kille-
Jaden: Syrus, if you say anything one more thing, I swear to God I'm gonna pop you! Hey Alexis, what are you doing here?
Alexis: Waiting for two hours for Syrus to come and meet me!
Syrus: OH! I knew I forgot something.
Alexis: Well anyway, it may interest you to know that my brother disappeared when he went inside that place and he hasn't returned since.
Jaden: (sarcasticaly) No, you don't say... let's go inside.
Syrus: Wait Jaden! You can't go in there!
Jaden: And why's that, Syrus?!
Syrus: Um... uh... there's fan boys in there!
Jaden: I know and they're all for you!
Syrus: Really? Oh hell I'm coming.
Susan: Why, hello there!
Alexis: AHHHHHH! No touchy!
(Sickening smacking noise)
Susan: Agh! Straight my Life Points!
Jaden: Whoa! Look at those Hieroglyphics! Millennium items? Millennium Rod? Heh! heh! Rod.
Jaden: Oh my God, that sounded like... um... uh...
Jaden: Syrus, we can play state the obvious later. Right now we gotta save her!
Syrus: Look! She's right over there.
Jaden: Once again. Thank you, Captain Obvious.
Susan: Hello Jaden, I've been waiting for you!
Jaden: Give back Alexis!
Susan: I'm afraid she has been consumed by the shadows.
Jaden: Fine, if you won't negotiate that means I only have one other option... a children's card game.
Susan: A SHADOW children's card game!
Jaden: It's time to get your game on!
Susan: Oh, I will get my game on, but it will be my Shadow game, because we're going to duel... in the shadows!
Jaden: Don't worry, Alexis! Nothing is going to happened to you!
Susan: Hey Jaden!
Susan: Look at my puzzle!
Jaden: AH! It burns! Ugh, my head. What's going on? Where am I? Am I stoned again? Where are my Cheetos?
Winged Kuriboh: MMmmm!
Jaden: Winged Kuriboh?
Winged Kuriboh: MMmmmm!
Jaden: Huh, You're right! Wow, it sure is a good thing that I can understand you.
Winged Kuriboh: MMMmmmm!
Jaden: Hey, guess what?
Jaden: Look at my card!
(pierced through Chaos's puzzle)
Susan: A paper card penetrating metal? Of course! That makes perfect sense!
Jaden: That's right! That Millennium Puzzle is as fake is all the Yu-Gi-Oh! GX Abridged Series. Everybody knows that mine is the best!
Susan: Not if could go and flagged all your videos is inappropriate it won't be!
Jaden: Oh no you don't! Get back here you spiteful bastard!
Eye: I'm Watching you!
(In the Shadow Realm)
Jaden: Okay buddy, you've seriously gone too far with this whole shadow thing.
Susan: No, this isn't me! I'm not doing this!
(grey blob creatures consume Chaos)
Susan: Ah! No! Jaden save me! *mmmmpphhh*
Jaden: Whoa... cool.
Jaden: What's that, Kuriboh? You think we should help him?
Winged Kuriboh: MMmmh.
Jaden: Well don't worry, I'm sure he'll be fine. Remember, this isn't real.
Susan: OH! The pain! This is so real! They're eating me alive! (vanishes)
Jaden: See, he didn't need our help after all.
Winged Kuriboh: Mm.
Jaden: Oh right, come on let's go!
(Coming through a dark hole)
Jaden: Make way, coming through!
Jaden: Ah! My coccyx! Okay, let's get the hell outta' here!
Caption: Shortly after getting the hell outta' there.
Narrator: Shortly after getting the hell outta' there!
Jaden: Are you okay, Alexis?
Alexis: Yes, I'm fine and thank you.
Jaden: Okay, see you later!
Syrus: Well, here we go another adventure! An Epic Tale! A Mysterious Journey! Who knows what lies-
Jaden: WHAT THE F**CK DID I SAY ABOUT DOING THAT!!
Caption Ending: Well, I give a shot... it's not that easy dubbing solo. But I think it went well... Remember, to make a video response to audition and help with the series.
Crowler: I'll said this once and I'll say it again; I love Eavesdropping!