SAO Abridged Parody (Something Witty Entertainment)

SAO Abridged Parody
Creator	Something Witty Entertainment
Run	March 29, 2013 - Ongoing
Episodes	13
Link	Youtube Playlist

SAO (Sword Art Online) Abridged Parody is an abridged series by Something Witty Entertainment under the YouTube channel SWEabridged. It is a parody of the anime series Sword Art Online. The plot follows very closely to the original series, but characters are often quite different from their canon counterparts, and some even have different names. For more information please visit Sword Art Online Abridged wiki.

Lore

It is the year 2022. Thanks to Kayaba Akihiko, his company Argus, and their latest invention the NerveGear, virtual reality has now progressed to the point of it being hard to differ from real life.

Once Argus's new launch title Sword Art Online is released, 10,000 people swiftly bought it. Only to come to find that once they are in game, they can't log out, and when they die in the game, they die in real life.

Their only escape from this world is by clearing the game, which stands at 100 floors of beautiful landscape and boss fights. Now, the fate of the helpless 10,000 rest in the hands of the games strongest player. The only problem is that he's an asshole and doesn't care about them.

Production

The opening song for the Aincrad Arc was "This is War" by 30 Seconds to Mars and it was replaced by "Real Life" by Greek Fire when the Fairy Dance Arc started.

Writers: YamatoSFX, Hayabusa449
Editor/Photoshop Artist: YamatoSFX

In October 2014, it was announced that Jragoswinn and Misanda had left Something Witty Entertainment due to creative differences and their characters had been recast. This led to delay in the production of Episode 5 as new voice actors were cast for the characters of Klein (Dizzasta), Asuna (xbubblemunkyx), and Tiffany (Octopimp). 

Characters

Main Characters

• YamatoSFX as Kazuto Kirigaya/Kirito

The male protagonist of the series. As in the original series, he is an extremely skilled combatant and one of the best players in the game. However, in the abridged version, Kirito is anarrogant and snarky egomaniac who often ridicules other players mercilessly, driving people like Asuna to call him "The Crown Prince of Douchebags". Despite the fact that he knowingly goes out of his way to inconvenience and ridicule other players, this is all a persona. Kirito is actually extremely self-conscious about himself and desperately wants people to like him but doesn't know how to due to his lack of social skills. He originally was so self-conscious that he became shocked and incredibly upset whenever people called him an asshole. Though Kirito complains constantly about weaker players, he is often manipulated into joining miscellaneous quests.

• Misanda (Episode 2) and xbubblemunkyx (Episode 5–present) as Asuna Yuuki/Asuna

The female protagonist of the series and second in command of the Knights of the Blood Oath. Though she is skilled at combat and strategy, possibly even more than Kirito, she utterly lacks in the fundamentals of gaming, as she was unable to open her menu, send trade requests, understand that the player's names aren't their real ones or even eat. Asuna is adept at dealing with Kirito's narcissism, but it is shown that she is extremely uncomfortable with black characters, namely Tiffany, due to her isolated upbringing. On the surface she appears to be a nice caring person but beneath that she is a borderline psychotic person, also as a result of her upbringing. Despite this she pretends to be nice to people so people will like her for the person she wants people to see rather than the person she is.

• Takahata101 as Kayaba Akihiko/Heathcliff

The creator of the NerveGear and head programmer of the game Sword Art Online. He is a big fan of movies from the 30s to the 90s and often makes references to them, but he just as often gets annoyed when no one gets them. In the game he is known as "Heathcliff", the leader of the guild "The Knights of the Blood Oath". He is known to be very sarcastic and often plays cartoon sound effects and silly music when he thinks something is a joke; for example, during Kirito's dual with Kuradeel, he played circus music because he thought it was a clown show.

As Heathcliff he appears as a stoic leader who is proud to lead his tropes, but he is at constant odds when he comes into contact with Kirito. When they first met face to face he offered him a place in his guild, thinking Kirito would graciously accept, and was caught off guard when he refused. He struggles to keep in this persona though, especially when his fellow guild members annoy him.

• RedAsATomato as Yui

A mysterious girl who appeared in Kirito and Asuna's house one day.

• Lennon Drake as Suguha Kirigaya

Kazuto's sister. She is a very aggressively sporty and very sarcastic person, possible more than Kazuto. She constantly makes fun of Kazuto, particularly about him injuring his penis when he accidentally ripped out his catheter when he woke up, and especially about his "online wife" who she doesn't believes exists.

• KaiserNeko as Nobuyuki Sugou

The man who was arranged to marry Asuna in order to stop her father paying her medical bills. He is a very perverted man who only hides his true nature from his boss, Shouzou Yuki. During the SAO incident he convinced Shouzou Yuuki to buy up the Aincrad servers in order to keep the players alive because it would look good on the company, as such he was the reason Kirito, Asuna and the other remaining players are still alive.

Supporting Characters

• Cheesemanjoe (Episodes 1 and 3) and Dizzasta (Episode 5 – present) as Klein/BallsDeep69

The first player that Kirito meets in the game. He made his first character, BallsDeep69, as a joke avatar to use while he got the hang of the game, but was stuck with the name when the creator removed the ability to log out. Kirito refuses to acknowledge Klein's real name (with the exception of when he has an emotional moment) and instead chooses to call him "Balls" or "Ballsy", something other players have continued.

• Cheesemanjoe (Episode 2) and Octopimp (Episode 5–present) as Tiffany

An African American living in Japan and a player in Sword Art Online. He doesn't appreciate the bravado and idiocy of most players in the game and enjoys putting people on edge and exploiting them, perhaps explaining his friendship with Kirito. He set up a weapons shop where he sells weapons that break easily to unsuspecting customers, and admits that most of the players are idiots and are willing to buy anything and everything and therefore won't notice the difference.

• NikokoTee as Sachi

A member of the Moonlit Black Cats. She has very poor internet connection, causing her to lag and glitch frequently. She ends up running away because she's worried that her lag will end up getting her guild killed. When Kirito finds her, she is able to show him how much of a jerk he has been to other players.

• Rachel Michelle as Silica

A young girl trapped in Sword Art Online. Though she was a member of a small party, she split off from her group when her teammates threatened to skin her pet dragon, Pina, for leather-working experience. Silica's naivety ends up getting Pina killed when they are trapped in a battle with higher level monsters, and she is forced to team up with Kirito to resurrect him with the Pnuma flower.

• Megami33 as Lizbeth

A skilled blacksmith who runs a weapons shop in Lindas on the 48th Floor. She is, or rather was, best friends with Asuna who frequently visited her shop to repair her sword.

Side Characters

• Hayabusa449 as Fatty

A fat young player pretended to be seventeen.

• Sonicring123Dubs as Girl-Guy

A teenager who pretended to be a girl.

• TehExorcist as Diabel

The leader of the group that forms to fight the First Boss. Aside from Kirito, Asuna, and Tiffany, he is the most intelligent, sensible, and competent member of the group. He is very annoyed by everyone else's complete stupidity and lack of combat skills.

• Hayabusa449 as Kibaou

A player who is under the belief that the beta testers of the game are the reason they're stuck in it. He has a undefined relationship with Diabel but he seemed concerned and shocked when he died. He later join the Aincrad Liberation Front and became the leader of a group trying to claim the position as the leader in a power struggle. He tricked his major rival, Thinker, into being trapped in a secret dungeon and assumed the position in his absence.

• Don Fluffles as Don Fluffles

A rather sadistic cat that learned to play Sword Art Online.

• LordMegatronG1 as Jeffrey

A player in Sword Art Online. He is first seen in the fight against the first Floor Boss. He is shown to be insane as he constantly has visions of Jesus, who tells him to kill people. Most of the things Jeffrey says and does are because "Jesus told me to." In Episode 6, it is revealed that Jeffrey is the leader of Laughing Coffin, one of the most feared red guilds in the game. Jeffrey always recites a Bible verse before killing his victims, but they are almost always obscure, inaccurate or made up.

• spritestuff as Keita

A cheater and the leader of the Moonlit Black Cats. He is also a manipulative opportunist and noticed that Kirito had very impressive stats, so he "convinced" him to join his guild. The rest of the guild is mostly made up of NPCs from various quests that Keita never finished. Keita figured out that as long as you don't complete the quests the NPCs stay with you and help fight and exploited this to his benefit. Keita owns a hat that adds +50 charisma points when worn, which he uses to convince other players (mostly Kirito) to do certain tasks for him.

• AtomicVoice as Gary

An NPC from the world of Aincrad and is a member of the Moonlit Black Cats guild; the show's version of Ducker.

• Hayabusa449 as Derrick

An NPC who has a quest involving bandits, he was stolen by Keita to be in his guild.

• LordMegatronG1 as Charlie

The game's tutorial NPC, who got stolen by Keita to be in his guild.

• puccaagarukiss as Rosalia

A player in Sword Art Online, and previous teammate to Silica. After driving Silica out of their guild, Rosalia follows her and Kirito on their journey, and ambushes them. She reveals herself to be the leader of the low-level guild "Titan's Hand", and orders Kirito to hand the Pnuma flower over to her.

• Rachel Michelle as Yolko

A timid, clumsy and dim-witted player in Sword Art Online and a prospective victim of a murderer. After her friend Kains was murdered in a Safe Zone, Yolko accompanies Asuna and Kirito in their investigation. Though she is helpful in the beginning of the investigation, Yolko insists the killer is the ghost of her guild leader Griselda, back from the dead to seek revenge on her and Schmitt. She, too, is murdered in a Safe Zone.

• Hayabusa449 as Kains

A former member of the same guild as Yolko, Schmitt, Griselda and Grimlock. After he was murdered in a Safe Zone, which caused his former teammate and friend, Yolko, to ask Asuna and Kirito to investigate what happened to him.

• ChaseFace and KaggyVA as Schmitt

A paranoid player in Sword Art Online who was often afraid of his angry fans and couldn't handle pressure. He makes a brief appearance in the fifth episode as the prospective victim of the murderer Asuna and Kirito are investigating. Schmitt worked as a game reviewer in the real world, and, since being trapped in the game, has become paranoid that his more hateful commenters will take advantage of his predicament and make attempts on his life.

• Sonicring123Dubs as Johnny Black

One of the members of Laughing Coffin who is not very happy with Jeffrey's decisions on how to lead the guild. He wanted the guild to be bigger than the three members they had and for it to be more profitable.

• KaiserNeko as Grimlock

The husband of his guilds leader, Griselda.

• MOM0KI as Griselda

The former leader of the guild Golden Apple. She was killed by an unknown player six months before the events of her episode.

• Hayabusa449 as Kuradeel

A member of the Knights of the Blood Oath who was introduced as Asuna's bodyguard. He appeared to be a quiet man, until he met Kirito that is. After which he became easily annoyed by his constant insults regarding his face, which included comparisons to Voldemort and Jeff Golblum in the Fly. He also appeared to have little concept of personal space as he broke into Asuna's house and watched her sleep to make sure he was doing his job properly, failing to see the irony obviously.

• Cheesemanjoe and KaggyVA as Corvatz

One of the players who fought the First Boss, during which he and another player came up with a strategy of grouping up "and hit it 'til it dies". He later became a "General" of the Aincrad Liberation Front. During this time he found an item that punctuated his words with Spanish Guitar and started talking in an accent to "boost morale among my men", ironically resulting in the opposite.

• Eagle8Burger as Sam

An announcer who comments on fights in Collinia. He has a calm fact based form of commentary, unlike his colleague Bob.

• Lanipator as Bob

An announcer who comments on fights in Collinia. He has a loud form of commentary and seems unable to count.

• AntFish as Godfree

A member of the Knights of the Blood Oath who is a hardcore roleplayer. He adopts a butchered Shakespearean style of speech and annoys everyone as a result.

• MrBuddyVA as The King of Ashes

A blood thirsty player who ends up ruling over the mob that destroyed Collinia after Kirito and Heathcliff's duel.

• Hayden Daviau as Sasha

A player who owns an orphanage for the children of the game who are too young to go out fighting Bosses.

• AliFluro as Yulier

A member of the Aincrad Liberation Front. She is a loyal follower of one of the Guild members, Thinker, due to her blind love for him. She, like most players, didn't see/expect Kibaou to gain so many followers and start a rebellion in the guild to overthrow Thinker.

• Faulerro as Thinker

One of the players fighting to be the leader of the Aincrad Liberation Front after it devolved into infighting. He wishing for peace and is at constant odds with Kibaou. Despite his name, as Yui points out, he isn't the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree and he was tricked into going to a "peace talk" with Kibaou which was held in a dungeon. To his surprise it was a trap to leave him there with no equipment.

• Coffinjockey as Nishida

An old man who fishes for the sole reason of having sex with them.

• BlazingAzureCrow as Shouzou Yuuki

Asuna's father. A greedy man who was almost tempted to cut his daughter's life support in order to save money on medical bills, but was only stopped when his lawyers pointed out that would "cause more problems that it would probably solve". So he opted to "marry her off" to one of his employees instead, even though he didn't know his name or what he was like.

• BlazingAzureCrow as PantySmasher

A player of ALO. He unwinds from his job at the soup kitchen by pretending to be a sexual predator.

• MrBuddyVA as DeezGunz

A player of ALO who roleplays as a perverted Hillbilly.

• FrozenFrost as Keith

A player of ALO who roleplays as a perverted southerner.

Cast

• YamatoSFX: Kirito, Beta-Tester's Roommate, Timmy, Additional Voices
• Hayabusa449: Kuradeel (Episode 8 & Episode 9), Fatty (Episode 1), Kibaou (Episode 2), "The Bandits Are Coming" NPC (Episode 3), Kains, Additional Voices
• Jragoswinn: Klein (1/2), Narrator, Tiffany (1/2), Beta-Tester, Stephen, Caps Lock Guy, Sir Jack Dapper, Nicholas the Renegade
• Misanda: Asuna (1/2), Gregory the Butler & Info Broker (Episode 3)
• Sonicring123: Girl Guy (Episode 1), Party Member (Episode 4), The Three Bromigos (Episode 5), extras, Johnny Black (Episode 6)
• Dizzasta: Klein (2/2), Goon 1 and 3 (Episode 4), Announcer (Episode 7)
• xbubblemunkyx: Asuna (2/2)
• Octopimp: Tiffany (2/2)
• Megami33: Lizbeth (Episode 7 and Episode 9)
• Takahata101: Kayaba Akihiko/Heathcliff (Episode 1, Episode 9, Episode 10 and Episode 11)
• Lennon Drake as Suguha Kirigaya/Leafa
• KaiserNeko: Grimlock (Episode 6), Nobuyuki Sugou/Oberon (Episode 12)

Guest Stars:

• TehExorcist: Diabel (Episode 2)
• LordMegatronG1: Jeffrey & Voices in Jeffrey's Head, Charlie (Episode 3 and Episode 6)
• Spritestuff: Keita (Episode 3)
• AtomicVoice: Gary
• NikoruChan18: Sachi (Episode 3)
• SakiSeshi: Dungeon Announcer (Episode 3)
• Senile Snake: Mob Goon (Episode 3)
• Rachel Michelle: Silica (Episode 4), Yolko (Episode 5 and Episode 6)
• puccaagarukiss: Rosalia (Episode 4)
• KaggyVA: "Dream" Kirito, Goon 2, Additional Voices (Episode 4), Schmitt (2/2)
• Daniel Hodge: Additional voices (Episode 4)
• ChaseFace: Schmitt (1/2)
• Sonicring123Dubs: Johnny Black (Episode 6 and Episode 9)
• MOM0KI: Griselda (Episode 6)
• Antfish: Godfree (Episode 9)
• Lanipator: Bob (Episode 9)
• Eagle8burger: Sam (Episode 9)
• redasatomato: Yui (Episode 9, Episode 10 & Episode 13)
• BuddyVA: King of Ashes (Episode 10 & Episode 11)
• Hayden Daviau: Sasha (Episode 10)
• AliFluro: Yulier (Episode 10)
• Faulerro: Thinker (Episode 10)

Episode List

Aincrad Arc

Episode	Air Date
Episode 1	Mar 29, 2013
Episode 2	Aug 19, 2013
Episode 3	Dec 21, 2013
Episode 4	Apr 9, 2014
Episode 5	Dec 11, 2014
Episode 6	Apr 22, 2015
Episode 7	Jul 31, 2015
Episode 8	Nov 1, 2015
Episode 9	Mar 11, 2016
Episode 10	Aug 28, 2016
Episode 11	Mar 27, 2017

Fairy Dance Arc

Episode		Air Date
Episode 12		Dec 14, 2017
Episode 13		Aug 24, 2018

Differences from the Anime

Aincrad Arc

• There are no advertisements; nor is there the option to buy AdBlocker for $29.99.
• Klein's username isn't "BallsDeep69" and his Avatar wasn't a joke one to use to get a handle on he game before creating his real one.
  • And his guild members don't think "My name is Klein" is how he says hello as of result of him trying to correct people.
• Kirito doesn't present himself as a cocky asshole because he's self conscious or hates the idiotic players.
  • He does it once after the Illfang raid, but that was to stop the other players from fighting amongst themselves and focus their hate on him.
• Kirito doesn't kill the pig with the stone he throws at it, Klein listens to some advice Kirito gives him and kills it in one thrust.
  • Kirito also doesn't go into a long expositional ramble about "The Mithril Pebble of Pig Smiting" that lasts hours to the point where Klein wonders if he gets bullied in real life.
• The words "ha ha ha" don't repeatedly scroll across Klein's menu once he and Kirito realise they can't log out.
• It is never stated that there was a problem in the NerveGear beta test where beta testers punched their roomates while playing a game on it, nor is it stated there were lawsuits because of this.
• Kayaba doesn't have trouble during his speech, including getting the players attention or muting himself.
• Kayaba never references any American movies or TV shows. He also doesn't reference the Comedian Gallagher when he is explaining the concept of the Death Game.
• The two players who realise one is a guy and the other isn't seventeen don't state to be "okay with this" after the initial shock, nor does someone shout out "love knows no gender".
• Kayaba isn't shocked that most of the players are "fairly attractive twenty somethings" before stating his pride in them for "breaking down stereotypes".
• There is never a profanity filter in the game, therefore Kayaba doesn't turn it off before leaving.
• Kirito doesn't state he needs "cannon fodder" for a Mini-Boss while asking for Klein's help.
• Kirito doesn't run off crying after Klein calls him and asshole. He runs off because he didn't feel comfortable joining Klein's guild, who were a bunch of strangers.
• There is never a Narrator setting in the game.
• The players who come to the strategy meeting of the First Boss aren't unaware that two thousand people have died and/or unaware that the game has a hundred Floors.
• "Tiffany" doesn't call his avatar "Tiffany". Instead he goes by "Agil" which is an abbreviated version of his real name, "Andrew Gilbert Mills".
  • He also doesn't go by "Thunder Lion", "The Chocolate Axe" or any other name he mentions.
  • He also doesn't claim to be "done" with the other players during the first strategy meeting.
• It is never stated whether or not the players read the beta testers guide nor is it implied to have been a joke by Kirito.
• Asuna never struggles to open the menu; at least we're never shown it.
• Diavel doesn't die because Kirito wouldn't stop lecturing him over the difference between an Ōdachi and a Talwar.
• Diavel doesn't refuse to accept the Health potion because his faith in the others players has deteriorated due to their stupidity.
• Diavel is revealed to be a beta tester in the anime, this doesn't happen in the abridged version.
• Diavel doesn't say that he doubts Kirito and him could have been friends.
• Asuna and Kirito don't fight over who should get the last attack during the battle.
• There is never a cat that learns to play the game.
• The "Beater" aspect of the story is completely ignored in the original. People hate Kirito just because he's an asshole.
• Asuna doesn't ask for "half of the coat" after the battle. She instead ask how he knew her name and Kirito points out it showed up in the corner of the screen when they formed a party, which she somehow didn't see.
• There is never a character called "Sir Jack Dapper" who serves as a narrator at any point in the series.
• Keita doesn't approach Kirito because of his level; Kirito hides it from them out of shame... for some reason.
• Keita isn't presented as a con man in the original series.
  • Nor does he put on a hat that raises his charm stat in order to get people to do what he wants.
• The majority of the Moonlit Black Cats are not NPCs, they were all the members of their school's computer club.
  • Nor is it never implied that Keita never completed the tutorial, nor that he stole the tutorial NPC.
• A scene where Klein finds out Kirito ended up in another guild while the two are coincidentally Level Grinding in the same field is skipped.
• "Detective mode" doesn't cause the player's eyes to sizzle once it's turned off.
• The Moonlit Black Cats never get indebted to the game's "Mob", and most of the party don't die trying to find the item they owe them. They died because went to get some extra loot in a Labyrinth while their leader went to buy a base for their guild.
  • Also, the game is never suggested to have a "Mob".
• The enemies that kill the Moonlit Black Cats aren't called "Slaughternauts" and "Murder Golems", they are called "Dark Dwarf Miners" and "Granite Elementals".
• No one manages to teleport out of the trap room, it was a no Crystal zone.
• Sachi doesn't die due to lag in the original series, nor does she haunt Kirito with the words "your fault". This is because she does not experience lag and it is not implied to live "in the boonies".
  • Also her last words were "Thanks you. Goodbye." in the original.
• Because Keita approached Kirito because of his level in this version he doesn't kill himself because he felt betrayed after Kirito told him he was a betatester like he did in the original.
  • In this version it's implied he committed suicide because his friends died, like in the original version, and because he was afraid that the Mafia was going to kill him.
• Kirito doesn't run off before he can pay the info broker. The info was free.
• Kirito doesn't struggle to understand that what he's feeling is sadness over his friends dying.
• The group that tries attack Kirito isn't the Mob trying to collect on his former guilds debt, they are a guild trying to get the reviving item that Kirito is trying to get.
• The item that Nicholas the Renegade drops isn't a hat, it's an item that revives players but only within a few seconds of their avatars deaths.
• Kirito never cries as loud at night over Sachi with such ferocity. He is shown doing it once in a scene that is implied to have happened but is it is skipped by Jack Dapper, but that was more of a silent cry.
• Kirito is never shown to have such severe mental breaks, in the first arc at least.
• Kirito doesn't initially turn down Silica pleas for help. He agrees straight away because she reminds him of his sister.
• Silica doesn't have a long sad backstory that causes Kirito to bang his head on a table out of annoyance.
• A scene where Kirito explains to Silica the layout of the Floor is skipped, as well as the scene before it where she nearly answers the door in her underwear.
• The journey to get the flower to resurrect Pina isn't so complicated, nor does it involve Bosses. It ends when they pick up that flower.
• Kirito knew straight away that Rosalia was in Titan's hand; he never thought that she was in Laughing Coffin.
• Rosalia is never presented as a psych student, and she doesn't push Kirito over the edge by saying that he sounds like a girl. This is because he doesn't sound as pubescent in the sub or the dub.
• Kirito doesn't kill Rosalia, he sends her and her guild to prison.
• Rosalia doesn't claim that his sword in her neck will be "the deepest you'll ever be in a woman".
  • As such Kirito doesn't shout "suck it Rosalia" while having sex with Asuna.
• Silica doesn't call Kirito "the worst person I've ever met". She instead develops feelings for him.
• Silica doesn't fail to bring back Pina, and she doesn't go on a blood thirsty rampage as a result.
• Kirito doesn't kill an NPC at the strategy meeting to kill the Boss.
• The Boss they are discussing isn't called "Sheeptaur the Sheep King"; it's actually never named.
• Kitito never gets high by eating random plants to increase his alchemy skills.
• Kirito never draws a cat face on Asuna's face; he keeps watch to make sure nobody attacks her.
• A conversation about people manipulating sleeping people into accepting a duel takes place. This is skipped in the abridgement.
• Asuna never questions why Kirito wants to help Yolko, nor is Kirito's reasons to prove he was right about not dying in a safe zone. 
• Kirito doesn't think Yolko's name is "Yoga Pants".
• Kirito is never referred to as "the crown prince of douchebags".
• Asuna doesn't "pretend to be nice to people" nor is she such a broken person under the surface.
  • Also her motive to help Yolko isn't to prove Kirito wrong.
• A reference to Lisbeth is skipped, stating that she couldn't appraise the weapon because she was too busy.
• Agil doesn't sell crap weapons to profit off the idiotic players, he instead sells the best weapons he can in order to help them.
• Asuna never talks to Agil in gangster slang in order to not seem racist.
  • The reason why Agil pulls Kirito over the counter isn't because he hates her, it's because he's shocked that Kirito is hanging out with Asuna, as he believed they hated each other.
  • Agil doesn't ask Asuna under his breath why she keeps coming back to his store, or compare her to a witch or any creature repealed by salt lines.
• Schmitt is never stated to be a YouTuber, nor is he scared about his haters trying to kill him over his opinions.
• Kirito doesn't fail to jump onto the roof. Hence, Asuna never tells Kirito that he'll "never be Batman".
• Kirito doesn't leave Asuna alone with Schmitt.
• Kirito doesn't figure out the mystery off screen.
• Schmitt doesn't offer to kill orphans to "Griselda's ghost".
• Johnny Black isn't one of the haters Schmitt is afraid of.
• The leader of Laughing Coffin isn't called "Jeffrey", he's called PoH (Prince of Hell), and he doesn't have hallucinations about Jesus or quote obscure or incorrect bible passages.
  • As a result Johnny Black doesn't question his motif or authority. Nor is the guild failing to get clients.
  • It also isn't stated, nor implied, that he was one of the players at the Illfang raid.
• The members of Laughing Coffin don't put on fake psychotic personas/are actually relatively normal people under the surface. They really are that crazy.
• Kirito doesn't claim to be a member of "Aincrad PD" nor does he give Laughing Coffin financial advice. He instead claims that there are players on the way to capture them.
  • Meaning Kirito's actions don't result in them giving away their secret location, resulting in their arrest.
• PoH doesn't make Caynz and Yolko Kirito's slaves after their exchange.
• The method Yolko and Caynz use doesn't involve exploiting a glitch. It involved disguising their teleporting in the explosions of certain items when they broke.
• It is never pointed out that Yolko didn't need to ask Kirito and Asuna for help.
• Schmitt did have a hand in Griselda's death, he unlocked the door to the room she was staying in, which allowed Laughing Coffin to kill her. This is skipped in the abridged version.
• In the original Grimlock is stated to have hired Laughing Coffin for both the murder of his wife and the attempted murder of his former guild mates, here it's only vaguely implied that Grimlock hired them to kill Kains, Yolko and Schmitt.
• Grimlock's motive is slightly altered.
• Kirito doesn't point out how stupid Grimlock's motives are.
  • Asuna more or less gives the speech that Kirito gives rather than pointing out that Grimlock's hat makes him look like a hipster.
  • Grimlock doesn't crumble when Asuna and Kirito mocks his hat. He crumbles when Asuna makes him realize how horrible he was.
• Caynz, Yolko and Schmitt don't kill Grimlock for killing Griselda.
• Asuna and Kirito don't runaway screaming from Griselda's ghost.
  • Nor does Kirito lose his sword by throwing it at her.
  • This event is never mentioned again in the original, but it isn't because Kirito and Asuna both agree that it "never happened" out of denial. The reason it's never mentioned is because this story was released in a book of short stories years after the original book.
• Lisbeth isn't presented as such of a shut in. She is shown to never leave the shop but she is never stated to be "living vicariously" through Asuna to the point where she considers Asuna's sex life as her own.
• In the original there is an undetermined amount of time between when Asuna leaves Lisbeth's shop and Kirito arriving, here he arrives pretty much after she leaves.
• Kirito doesn't mock Lisbeth for using the word "gnarliest", as she does in the dub.
• In the original Lisbeth insists to come with Kirito, where as in the abridgement she accidentally ropes herself into the quest.
• Kirito doesn't call Lisbeth "Sachi" by accident.
• Kirito isn't blasted by the Dragon twice in the original, nor is he blasted because Lisbeth distracted him.
• Kirito does give Lisbeth the health potions as a toast for not getting them killed.
• Kayaba never plays sound effects to punctuate something he finds funny.
• Lisbeth doesn't tell Kirito her backstory, it is only implied.
  • Kirito doesn't suddenly grab Lisbeth's to get her to stop telling her sad backstory, she asks him to hold it to comfort her.
  • Kirito doesn't start crying due to their similarities.
• Lisbeth doesn't start thinking like a character in a Romantic Noir briefly.
  • Meaning she doesn't slap herself to get out of this. She instead slaps herself because she's embarrassed she held Kirito's hand.
• Lisbeth confesses her feelings to Kirito while they are in the air in the original, but he doesn't hear her due to the wind. Here she just thanks him for making her leave her shop.
• The crafting system doesn't have an over the top, "seizure inducing", mini game that only the person crafting can see. Or at least it is never stated...
• Asuna was genunally worried about Lisbeth in the original and didn't notice Kirito was there, here she seems to burst in because she knew Lizbeth was with Kirito.
• Asuna doesn't threaten Lisbeth or burn down her shop out of jealousy.
• Lisbeth doesn't run away out of fear. She actually runs off because she realises that Kirito and Asuna like each other and she decides to not pursue her own feelings to give Asuna a chance and make her happy.
• Kirito doesn't name the sword Lisbeth makes "Sunlight Heart", or claim to name it "The Piece of Shit... DRAGON Shit that is" etc. The sword instead comes with the name "Dark Repulser" after it is made.
• Lisbeth doesn't admit that she wanted to sleep with Kirito, nor admit how ridiculous that idea was due to how much of an ass Kirito is.
• Kirito never insults Kuradeel's face with such unending fury.
• Asuna doesn't ask Kirito if him offering to split the Ragout Rabbit with her is him asking her out on a date. And she doesn't reinforce the prospect to the point that Kirito feels like he's being mugged.
• A conversation Kirito has with Asuna about how she's unhappy with what her guild has become is skipped.
• Kirito doesn't expect that Asuna is leading him to a trap to kill him.
• Kirito doesn't mistake Asuna telling him to put his sword away for her telling him she can see his erection.
• The dish Asuna makes doesn't glow.
• Kirito doesn't find Asuna's change in behaviour worrying nor does he asked if she likes him.
• Kirito doesn't immediately know that he accidentally squeezed Asuna's boob in the original, nor is he familiar enough with anime tropes to realize where this is going.
• Kuradeel does go overboard in his duties, but not to the extent that he breaks into her house and watches her sleep.
• Asuna doesn't pretend to be a damsel in distress in order to get Kirito to fight him for her because it was "more satisfying" than complaining about his actions and trying to avoid the political backlash if she beat him up. She was, in fact, temporarily a damsel.
• Kirito and Asuna go to the Gleam Eyes Boss Room before meeting Kobatz in the original, but they run away out of fear.
• Kirito and Asuna don't experience horrible taste for anything else after eating the Ragout Rabbit.
• A part of the conversation where Kirito punches Klein for trying to get frisky with Asuna is skipped. 
• Klein doesn't ask Kirito if he wants to show Asuna his "sword skills", nor is Asuna interested in his response.
• Kobatz doesn't talk like a Spaniard nor are his words punctuated with Spanish guitar.
• Kobatz isn't a General in the Aincrad Liberation Force, he was a Lieutenant-Colonel.
• The part of the conversation where Kobatz asks for the dungeon map is skipped.
• Kobatz isn't implied to have been one of the players who fought the First Ross.
• In the original Asuna runs into fight the Gleam Eyes first and Kirito runs in after her to protect her, Kirito runs in first in the abridgement because it fits his character arc better.
• Kirito doesn't rant at the Gleam Eyes for "making him care about people".
  • Klein doesn't tell Kirito to "not give up on humanity just yet."
• No one was live streaming Kirito's fight with the Gleam Eyes.
• Agil and Lisbeth don't jump out of a window out of fear of Asuna (related to the changes in Asuna's prior actions towards them).
• Kirito doesn't challenge Heathcliff to their fight in the original, Heathcliff challenges him.
  • Additionally their fight isn't about whether or not Kirito joins the guild it's about who gets to keep Asuna, as she had been ignoring her duties as the vice commander to spend time with Kirito.
  • Heathcliff does ask Kirito to join his guild but it was as a condition if loses their fight.
• The fight isn't narrated by an intellectual named "Sam" or a overly loud manly stereotype named "Bob".
• Kirito is not knocked down by Heathcliff within four seconds of their fight. The strategy he comes up with is how it goes down in the original and Heathcliff bashes him to the floor before he could land the final blow.
• Colinia doesn't devolve into a flame filled lawless zone after the dual between Heathcliff and Kirito doesn't go how they wanted. Nor is it eventually ruled by a guy called "The King of Ashes".
• Kirito tells Asuna why he doesn't like joining guilds after his fight with Heathcliff in the original, here she seems to be aware of what happened before their fight.
• Godfree doesn't speak in Ye Olde English nor is he stated to be Role Player.
  • He therefore does not break character in order to plead for mercy as he dies.
• Kuradeel is a member of Laughing Coffin in the original, as opposed to a fan. He was recruited after his fight with Kirito by PoH, who escaped being arrested.
  • Kuradeel didn't try to kill Kirito because he was mad that Kirito made Laughing Coffin "sell out", he did it because Kirito humiliated him and because PoH told him to, in order to enact revenge on Kirito due to being a part of the raid that arrested the other members.
• Kuradeel doesn't call Asuna a bitch, nor does he try to insist that it is a complement out of fear.
  • As such, Kirito doesn't refer to Asuna as a bitch as a compliment (echoing Kuradeel's last words) before they kiss.
• Asuna doesn't kill Kuradeel in the Anime, but she does in the original web novel. Her reasoning is different, however.
• Asuna doesn't foreshadow her "death" when she's crying in front of Kirito in the original by saying she wants "almost die once in a while" to get back at him for making her for the second time that week over his potential death. She's crying because she feels like the whole situation with Kuradeel was her fault and that she feels like she should stay away from him for his safety.
• Kirito swears his loyalty to Asuna and asks to stay at her house for the night. The abridged version doesn't explain why Kirito went there.
• Asuna does strip out of nowhere, but she does it because she somehow confused Kirito's asking to stay over as "lets have sex tonight", not because she wanted to and/or Kirito pointing out the "dubious implications" of him staying over so late.
  • Asuna isn't as confident to strip in front of Kirito in the original.
  • Kirito doesn't squeal like girl over realising him and Asuna are about to have sex.
• It is never stated that they did have sex in the Anime but implied. There was a scene that was cut from the original book however.
  • Asuna does punch Kirito, but it's because she blamed him for her mistake, not because he called out someone else's name during sex.
• Asuna and Kirito don't have voices in their head judging their actions after their night together.
• Kirito does propose to Asuna, and she does say yes, but they both don't immediately regret it and/or try to get the other to admit it first.
  • As such, Kirito and Asuna don't use Yui as a means to get the other to admit that them getting married was a mistake.
• Heathcliff doesn't use their honeymoon as an excuse to get Kirito as far away from the upcoming peace talk as he can. They instead ask for permission to take a break from the guild and get married in secret.
• The two find Yui in the woods in the original, rather than her suddenly appear in Asuna's bed like she does in the abridgement.
• Kirito and Asuna don't go to Sasha's orphanage to "buy" another child, they go to find out if Sasha knows who Yui's parents are.
• Kirito and Asuna don't end up "buying" Sasha's orphanage in order to one up each other.
• A scene where Asuna confronts members of the A.L.F who are harassing some of Sasha's kids is skipped.
• Yulier doesn't have perverted tendencies about Thinker nor does she accidentally or deliberately slip her fantasies into her sentences.
• No one points out how dumb Thinker and Yulier are.
• Sasha doesn't go into a rage over being constantly ignored and kick everyone out of her orphanage.
• Yui doesn't quote the Foreigner song "I Want To Know What Love Is".
• The scene where Asuna watches Kirito in his sleep is altered, instead of making suggestive comments she comments on how innocent he looks and then wonders if he's younger than him. This doesn't deter her for long, as she then hugs him and says she wants them to be together forever, which wakes him up, much to her shock.
  • This scene was also moved from before they met Yui to after.
  • Heathcliff does not send the message to Asuna in this scene, he sends it to Kirito later.
  • Kirito also hears what Asuna said in this version while in the original he doesn't and she tries to cover it up out of embarrassment.
• Kirito doesn't say that their Honeymoon was a nice one despite the fact their "daughter" "died right in front of [them], thinking she was alone and unloved".
• The scene where Kirito fishes and the entire mini arc with Nishida takes place in the original, but is cut in the abridgement.
• Nishida is never implied to have have sex with fish.
• A scene where Heathcliff sets up the next Boss, followed by a scene where Asuna says she'll kill herself if Kirito dies, is skipped.
• Heathcliff doesn't have trouble using metaphors to rally the players.
• Klein and Agil aren't implied to go on adventures together without Kirito.
• The Skull Reaper doesn't glitch out and die on its own. Nor does the door to the next Floor fail to open.
• Heathcliff doesn't get mad when every starts pointing out the games flaws. The flaws in the game are either ignored in the original or added on to in this version.
• Due to the fact that Heathcliff never makes any references to movies, Kirito doesn't figure out that Heathcliff is Kayaba that way. Instead he comes to the conclusion because noticed that he was the only player whose health wasn't in the yellow, which makes him realize that his health never goes into the yellow because the system is protecting him. This is supported by the fact he was faster than he was during their fight, as Kirito is the fastest player in the game, and no one could POSSIBLY be faster than him.
  • Heathcliff doesn't try and convince everyone that the system's protective wall was a lucky glitch that saved him from Kirito's assassination attempt. He just kinda excepts that he's been exposed in the original.
• Kayaba doesn't start ranting about the other players idiocy after being exposed nor does Kirito defend them.
• Kayaba doesn't kill anyone for "mildly sassing" him after being exposed in the original.
• Kirito doesn't impersonate Eric Cartman while taunting Kayaba's childish antics or compare him to a crying baby.
• Kayaba was the one who initiated the rematch in the original as a "reward" for finding him out, rather than Kirito wanting a rematch to end the game for everyone else's sake.
  • Meaning Kirito doesn't goad on Kayaba by quoting Back to the Future, nor does Kayaba yell at Asuna for saying the movie doesn't sound like a good one.
• Asuna doesn't tell Kirito to "cry your little bitch tears" upon her "death".
• Kayaba doesn't question how Asuna broke out of his admin paralysis through the "power of love".
• The reason for Kayaba starting the death game didn't involve him being sleep deprived or the game being extremely glitchy due to him rushing it out, nor does he make a joke about forgetting his motivation. He actually forgot his motivation in the original...
• SAO is never stated or implied to be published by Bethesda or any other American company.
• Kayaba doesn't say he feels such a deep connection with Kirito, nor does he try one last time to feel it again before he disappears.
• Kirito isn't shocked by Asuna's baffling choice to use her real name in the game.
• Asuna doesn't think that "Kirito" is his real name nor does she say that his real one is a terrible name.
• Kirito doesn't say "I love you" to Asuna in the original; she said it to him and he neglected to say it back.
  • Nor does Asuna quote Han Solo back at him.
• Kazuto doesn't rip his catheter out when he wakes up, nor is it explicitly stated that he had one.

Fairy Dance arc

• The opening scene isn't as exaggeratedly cheery. 
  • Kirito and Asuna don't talk either, sugary sweetly or otherwise. As such no tongue and cheek reference to how Kirito's apparent love of fishing coming out of nowhere.
• Suguha isn't an aggressively sporty person like she's presented in the abridged series (although she is nationally ranked in Kendo); she's a kind girl who feels very distant from her brother.
  • She also doesn't directly insult Kazuto nor does she shout them through the wall.
• Suguha doesn't mock her brother for ripping his catheter out, as that didn't happen in the series... though she does mock him for having an "online wife" but not to that extent.
• Asuna's father isn't presented as an idiotic asshole, he actually cares about her... which makes his decision to marry her off when he knows she apparently has a boyfriend the more questionable.
• It is never stated that Mr. Yuuki has a habit of buying Ferrari's, nor does he have an Italian Ferarri dealer, or at least one that he thinks is Italian.
• Mr. Yuuki doesn't call Sugou "Versace" due to the fact that was what was written on his briefcase.
• Sugou doesn't make Asuna "talk" by opening and closing her mouth with his finger.
• A scene where Kazuto cries and Suguha comforting him and tucking him into bed and sleeping next to him is skipped. This is also followed by Suguha getting embarrased after waking up and realizing what she's done. This is most likely skipped because it didn't fit this version of Suguha. 
• Kazuto doesn't rant on Twitter after his meeting with Sugou.
• Asuna doesn't spit on Sugou's face after he greets her.
• Kazuto doesn't have trouble finding Andrew's bar. Therefore, he doesn't use that as an excuse to vent about how his life is going.
• The drink Andrew offers isn't a "9-Up", it's a cup of coffee.
  • Additionally it isn't said that 9-Up needs to be boiled until it's brown unless it would be "hella toxic".
• Due to the fact Andrew doesn't hate Asuna he isn't reluctant to tell Kazuto about her.
• ALfheim Online's description isn't a jumbled mess that barely describes what it's like, nor does it have a message from the guy who wrote it talking about how his wife left him that didn't get edited out before the game was published.
• Kazuto doesn't get distracted by the potential coolness of game's flight mechanic.
• Kazuto doesn't vomit on Andrew's Jukebox.
• Suguha isn't humming "I'm Flying" from Barbie Fairytopia before Kazuto returns.
  • Nor does it play during ALfheim Online's character creator.
• Kazuto isn't tempted to let Suguha choke to death.
• Suguha doesn't mock Kazuto at any point during their conversation. Nor, does Kazuto sing "Walking on Sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves.
• Kazuto isn't exited to be a video game badass again, he's too worried about Asuna.
• The game's start up feature doesn't have an annoying Goofy-esque character who talks to Kazuto like a five year old.
• The name "Kirito" or any other variants is not taken. As such Kazuto isn't driven to madness nor does he end up with the name "xVx_K1r1t0_xVx_KillMe".
• Kazuto doesn't pick being a Spriggan to make the whole ordinal end faster.
• ALfheim Online is not distributed by Uplay.
• Kirito doesn't briefly forget about Yui.
• Yui did not fake her death to "lighten to mood", nor did she beg for help while in the jewel Kirito made... that we know of...
• Yui isn't in such a rush to save Asuna in the original.
• ALheim Online doesn't have a profanity filter that replaces swear words/non child friendly words with child friendly alternatives, except for the word "rape"... apparently.
• The entire server of ALfheim Online isn't a roleplay server. Everyone just takes the game really seriously for some reason.
• The three Salamanders that are "ambushing" Leafa aren't named "General PantySmasher", "DeezGunz" and "Keith".
• None of the Salamanders chuck mayonnaise at Leafa.
• Leafa doesn't portray herself as a noble woman who was rescued from the street by a queen, nor is she saving herself until she marries a prince.
• The main Salamander doesn't break character so he can lecture Leafa on how to roleplay better.
• When Kirito arrives Leafa doesn't use him as a means to better portray her character.

Notable Improvements From Original Series

• Despite being rather different from his original counterpart. Kirito's personality is much more fleshed out throughout the anime. His character arc is also more noticeable. He starts off as an arrogant, socially awkward nerd with a god complex, and isolates himself from others, only to cover up the fact that he's a complete loser in real life and is isolated by society. By the end of the Aincrad arc, he becomes a decent person, who at least has some faith in humanity and has actually opened himself to having genuine relationships with others.
• Kirito has PTSD from Sachi's death in Episode 3 (as someone should have from seeing someone die right in front of them). This is shown at the beginning and middle of Episode 4, teased in Episode 5, Episode 7, referred to again in Episode 9 and so forth.
• Like Kirito, Asuna's personality is also given time to be fleshed out and established. Asuna is notably a bitch, but described as strong, confident, absolutely fucking terrifying, racist, and even more insane than Kirito himself. However, Asuna also shows that she is caring about people, particularly Kirito and while she does use him like a tool at certain times, at other times, she accepts graciously that he's a good person (such as in Episode 11).
• Kirito and Asuna's romantic relationship is played much more like a teenage romance. They often times don't know what to do, like in Episode 10 when they are constantly confused on where to go in their relationship. Before that, they often butt heads and have arguments, which only seems to pull them closer together.
• Every girl in Kirito's 'Harem' in the original series is given a reason to not continue to pursue him (so far), aside from Asuna. In Episode 4, Silica remarks that Kirito is 'the worst person she's ever met.' In Episode 7, Lisbeth is threatened by Asuna near the end of the episode, that if she tries to make a move on Kirito, Asuna will most likely murder her. Later, Lisbeth becomes content after realizing Kirito is an asshole and he's not the best romantic partner. As of Episode 13, it's been thoroughly established that Suguha is a total bitch to Kirito about practically everything and never passes up the chance to mock him. The reason for this is not concrete, but it may just be that Suguha emphasizes what Kirito went into SAO to escape from, that he's a complete loser in real life. No romantic feelings are implied.
• Certain characters are given more of a purpose than in the series and connect the main characters more.
  • Klein (Ballsdeep69), serves as Kirito's constant reminder that giving people chances and letting himself be open to relationships, may not be so bad. He remarks in Episode 11, that he indeed made a difference in Kirito and is overjoyed by it.
  • Yui serves to bring Asuna and Kirito closer together, rather than just be their daughter. Yui also showcases upfront that self-sacrifice is a genuinely kind act, as well as admitting one's mistakes isn't that hard either, an act that later makes Kirito and Asuna both more mature in the long run.
  • Sachi, makes Kirito have PTSD for several episodes.
  • Rosalia, completely guesses correctly that Kirito only plays tough and that being trapped in a game was the best thing that could happen to him, whereas it's only as she predicts, an act. This conversation shows up in various other episodes, Kirito either denying that Rosalia was right, or painfully accepting that she was right.
  • Kayaba, the similarities between Kirito and Kayaba are apparent. They both are socially inept gamers with god complexes. However, when they talk in Episode 11, Kirito has already gone through a character arc and disagrees that people are completely incompetent. He proceeds to mock Kayaba and then ask for a rematch. The final difference is when Kayaba is defeated, and he mentions Dungeonmaster, a series Kirito has never heard of before, despite Kirito recognizing all of Kayaba's previous references.
• Kayaba is given a reason to trap everyone in SAO in the game.
• What's unneeded is skipped. (The Fishing Arc...)

Trivia

• They are YouTube partners, & are currently on the network "Screenwave Media"
• The cat they used for Don Fluffles is from the anime "Ghost Stories". The dub of that show is notorious for the ad-libbed dialogue the characters say, and is commonly referred to as the shows "official abridged series".
• During episode 11 Klein becomes so overjoyed he can barely talk, but what he's actually is saying "No pod is worth two slaves! I'm a Toydarian, Jedi mind tricks don't work on me, only money!" from Star Wars Episode I.

Something Witty Entertainment Members YamatoSFX  · Hayabusa449  · Xbubblemunkyx Series SAO Abridged Parody  · Gatchaman Abridged  · Hunter x Hunter Abridged  · Busou Renkin Abridged  · Nightwalker Abridged